We have a great family and we are all close.  The three of us have so much to be thankful for, but there has been something from this family for a while.  If you don’t know, Jen and I are unable to have anymore children.  Arianna was a perfectly planned pregnancy, but we realized soon thereafter that there were issues.  Jen almost died from a ruptured ectopic pregnancy 2 years after Arianna was born.  And years of unsuccessful attempts, both before and after the ectopic.  It wasn’t until 3 years ago that we finally went to a specialist together to get some answers.  And to my shock, it was not just Jen that had issues, it was me as well.  Basically we were informed that a natural pregnancy was not possible without IVF, and even then, the chance was only about 20%.  Not to mention that it cost over $30,000.  So, you can imagine what we thought about that.

For years, Jen wanted to adopt from Russia or Ukraine.  Then she thought we should foster.  Then back to the Ukraine.  Then back to fostering to adopt.  Back and forth.  I had no interest in disrupting the family that we had, but always thought about it.  I can’t tell you how many times my heart was torn, wanting to do something, but unable to make a decision…  Nor did I want to give any false hopes to Jen, so I kept it all to myself.  But Jen is not a dummy…  She could tell when I was emotional and leaning towards saying the magic words.  We would get on the topic and my expressions would give it all away, but my words said otherwise.  I am not a very good liar.  Never have been.

Fast forward to July 2010.  Jen and I are yet again discussing the whole foster-to-adopt thing.  Her idea is to get a child around Arianna’s age.  This time the conversation is in front of Arianna.  Now I got them both on me about it, but not in a bad way… In “our” way, just little pokes, but pokes that always tug on my heart strings.

A few days later, Arianna and I go to the store, and she asks me if I would consider a foster child.  We had a long talk about it.  We talked about all of the things that could happen…  Things that could disrupt the family we have become so used to.  But Arianna said it was worth a try and if it didn’t work out, we could “send the kid back.”  I know that sounds kind of cold, but compatibility is very important, especially when you have a child that is Arianna’s age.  I told her I would think about it, but I told her not to mention it to her Mom…  We wouldn’t want to get her hopes up.

About a week later, I decided that I would give in to my family’s desires and try this foster thing.  Truthfully, though, it was something that I decided that I wanted to do as well.  After all of the sorrow and tragedy that we went through years ago, perhaps this was something that was positive that we could do…  Not out of the ashes of despair or emotional recovery…  That was so long ago.  This could be something that we could do just because we had the love to give.  There is no despair now.  We have grown and moved on way past that.  Now maybe we, or maybe I can say, maybe “I” can do this because it is not as a result of a tragedy, but it is just plain genuine.

We had to go to an orientation for prospective foster and adoptive parents.  The 3 of us went to the meeting together.  I was both excited and nervous about it, but there was no turning back.  We filled out the paperwork for the background check and were told that we would get a call in about a week if we passed the check.  We could then move to the next step in the process.  And about a week later, on a Tuesday I got the call from Family Services telling me that we passed the background check and that we were to come in and proceed to the next step.

I received another call that day.

It was Jen.  “Do you have a second to talk?” she said.  “I’m pregnant!”

There’s something I never imagined hearing come out of her mouth.  Something else would have been a little more believable at the time, like “I’m moving to Mars” or “I should have voted for Obama because he is doing such a great job“.

We found a doctor right away and got her bloodwork done.  The results came back the next day with good levels, then the doctor wanted to do an ultrasound to make sure the baby was not ectopic.  As you can see above, the baby was growing just perfect.  The baby in the ultrasound above is 6 weeks old, meaning that the baby was conceived here in Las Vegas.

Two weeks later, we had another ultrasound, and we were able to see the baby’s heartbeat and see its arm.  I can’t believe this is even happening.

I think this entire thing is both amazing and ironic.  We move 2500 miles away from family, we have a Mini Cooper, a pickup truck and a 3 story house.  Not exactly choices people make when they are having a baby.  But how would we have known?  What caused this miracle?  Part of me thinks it might be the fact that I opened up my heart to let someone from the outside into this family, and by that act, I was granted the gift of having our own.  Maybe we were both “unbroken” for just a sliver amount of time…  Enough to make this happen.  I don’t know.  Maybe it’s the mountains and the spirits of the desert.  Maybe, just maybe, there’s something in the water.

Ciao.

A day or two later, we decided to go to the park in our community. Man, it was hot. Arianna was playing with other kids in the fountain as Jen and I sat under a shaded area. In the distance I saw an ice cream truck. I asked Arianna if she wanted an ice cream, and of course, she wanted one. So we proceeded over to the truck and she placed her order. The lady told us that it was free, and invited us to have as much as we wanted. What??? Free? Come back and have more? Man, I hate it here..

We went to the school to sign Arianna up… The administrators were all so nice. The school seemed so nice – carpeted halls, etc… No trailers like in PA. And all I could think about is how much I hate this place.

The other day we went to one of these video poker bar places. If you have ever been to Las Vegas (and left the confines of “the Strip”), you know what these places are. We decided to go for Happy Hour – with Arianna. So, in addition to having 1/2 off drinks and appetizers, we decided to play pool. Now where I come from, kids cannot play pool in a bar. But this place was different. I put in $1.00, and we all played pool as we took turns eating steamers from our table. And there was a Claw Machine with lobsters inside a tank. Get the lobster with the claw and they will cook it for you for free. And you know what? I hate it here.

Arianna is having such a hard time adapting to the change. Our first night here, she had a sleepover at the neighbor’s house. In fact, she had a sleepover 4 out of 5 nights I think – some of the nights were at our house. She must hate it too.

Our neighbors? Forget it. I don’t know about these people… Before we left PA, we had to ship our cars via an auto transport, but they had to be delivered before we got there due to scheduling issues. Our Las Vegas neighbor Bob took delivery of our vehicles before I even arrived! These neighbors, Bob and Lisa, fed our Yankee asses with some southern fixins several times and made us realize that we really do like pulled pork. Only Alabama-style. They made us feel so comfortable here – like we had “real friends” in Las Vegas. Well, everybody knows, Vegas people are plastic. Even Vegas people from Alabama. I freaking hate it here…

OK, I love it here! Las Vegas has so much excitement and is very different than anyplace I have ever lived. It is nothing like New York or Philadelphia – in fact it is different than any city that I have ever been to. People from “back home” think we are partying and gambling every night on the strip. Nothing but strippers and drinking. I don’t want to change your perception… It’s all what you think. I have become a gambling degenerate and Jen is collecting dollar bills in her G-string.

UPDATE 8/16/2010: For those of you who cannot tell, this blog is 100% sarcastic! I can’t believe some of you people that think that I actually hate it here… Go back and read the blog!

(Bye bye Mini Cooper and Old Blue Truck!)

Jen and I are sitting in an empty house with nothing but a folding chair, folding table, a 13″ TV, some food, and our computers.  At least we still have internet and DirecTV for a few days!  Actually, we have our bed until Sunday, but then the people we sold it to pick up.  So, we borrowed an air mattress from Robin for Sunday night.  I think we are going to go to my grandparents from Monday to Tuesday, so we will be fine.  In the interim, we are car-less and stranded here.  I am waiting for a call back from the rental car agency, so hopefully I can have a car later this afternoon.

I have to say…  This has been an incredible experience.  The goodbyes that I have had in the past week have been a bit sad, but that’s life I guess.  In the immortal words of John Fisher, I prefer to say “Ciao” instead of “Goodbye”.  I have been blessed with being surrounded by some amazing people in my life – from family, to friends, and colleagues.  I will miss them all as I begin my next chapter in life, but this is the path that needs to be taken.  And I am looking forward to turning the page.

To be continued…

What I like about Las Vegas:

• Weather – Hot in the summer, warm in the spring and fall, mild in the winter. I like the dry weather, but just because it’s dry does not make the summer heat any less intense.
• Nature – I love the mountains, the National Parks, the desert, Lake Mead, the Colorado River, etc… There’s something about the west that is captivating
• Food – Las Vegas has some of the best restaurants in the world.
• Entertainment – I can see a show or concert and not have to make an entire day out of it. There are lots of things to do beyond “the strip”. There are lots of community activities and events. I am looking forward to having all of this in my backyard without having to make it an all day event, like I would have to do now.
• City benefits without being in the “city” – Las Vegas is unique in its composition. Our house is in a very nice neighborhood, surrounded by nice neighborhoods. It is not like the suburbs of New York or Philadelphia at all. If you came to our house in Las Vegas and were not told that you were in Las Vegas, you’d think you were in a regular town in the west.
• New Opportunities – There is a world of new opportunities for me.  It’s all new…  Going from a small town to a big city opens up a world of new things for anyone.

What I will miss about the Northeast:

• Rain – I love rain, especially at night in the summer. I love falling asleep to the rain.
• Family – I’ve had them all close for all of my life, so this will be a change.
• Friends – I will certainly miss them as well.
• Fall – I love the changing of the leaves in the Fall, especially in the mountains. (But I won’t miss it that much)
• Animals – My backyard is like a zoo.  Deer, squirrels, turkeys, chipmunks, groundhogs, birds and foxes.

What I will NOT miss about the Northeast:

• Snow, sleet, ice, freezing rain – Need I say more? I am all done. If I desire snow, I’ll go skiing or sledding at Mt. Charleston, about 30 minutes away. No more snow plows or shoveling. No more driving in icy or snowy road conditions.
• Lawns – I do not have a green thumb. I’m tired of cutting the lawn, mulching, weeding, etc… Bring on the desert landscape!
• Bugs – Bees, hornets, mosquitoes, gnats.
• Taxes – State Income Tax and Local Tax. When my PA house finally sells, I will add Property Tax and School tax to this list.

And the whole “friend” thing is totally annoying.   If someone you know is not your “friend” on Facebook, it’s like you committed an online moral sin.  And God forbid if you delete a friend…  That causes nothing but problems and destroys friendships.  I’ve seen all of this over and over.  So, again, I ask, what’s the point? Having a Facebook account is like going back to high school, or even worse, grade school.

I’ve been blogging on this site for years.  And the only ones who read these blogs (most of the time) are the people that are actually in my life.  And if someone else stumbles across it, great!   I enjoy blogging on my site and I’ve enjoyed programming it and updating it for years.  But so many people these days spend much of their online time on Facebook, I wonder if that has had an effect on this website…  Maybe part of the reason is that I hardly find the time to blog or update this site it as often as I used to.   I guess I have less of a desire to put my entire life online for the world to see.

If you know me, you’d know that I have a love/hate relationship with technology.  Many times, I’m one of the first to have the latest electronic gizmo.  But I am feeling the pendulum swing to the other side.   I am becoming less infatuated with technology as the days go on.   I certainly spend much less of my free time browsing the web.   About the only web surfing I do these days is getting my news in the morning and browsing a few forums on topics that interest me.  I have spent the better half of my adult life in front of a computer and the internet and many times I just want to leave it all behind.

I am serious when I joke about the day when I don’t have a cell-phone.   I don’t want to be connected all of the time.  I don’t want to get your text message when I am spending an afternoon with my family.   I don’t want to hear the ding sound from my iPhone letting me know that I got an email when I am relaxing at night.  The truth is that I will probably always have a cell phone.  It’s a great tool and there are many positive things about having one.  But powering it off once in a while is a good idea.  Maybe you should try it too.

Lastly, I don’t care if you deleted me from Facebook or that you and I aren’t “friends” on Facebook.  The relationship that we have in “real life” is the only thing that matters.  If you have something to say that is really important, call me or tell me when you see me.  Don’t send me an email if something is serious.  I would rather hear your voice.  Although technology is in my blood and is the way I make my living, I find myself straying away from it in my everyday life.

I want to get back to the roots of what life is about.   Going outside.   Taking a walk.  Playing ball with the kid.  Playing a board game.  Going for a walk in the desert with a magnetic compass and not a GPS.

Mom Said: Lenny does what Lenny wants to do
Was Mom Right?: Yes!
Len’s Analysis: I think this used to drive my mom crazy.  I never listened to anyone.  I don’t really mean in a bad way.  I just like to do things my way.  Mom used to always said that I learn things the hard way.  And I did.  And still do.  I like to learn things for myself.  As an adult, I can say it is about personal exploration.  If you listen to too many opinions (even Mom’s), you don’t have the chance to understand why.  And truth be told, everyone has different thoughts and ideas.  When it comes to right and wrong and morality, mom was the authority on that.  But I have always been a free thinker.  I do not consider that bad or wrong.  Most of my decisions have been based on having a solid upbringing.  But my decisions were mine and mine alone.  Lenny does what Lenny wants to do.  Mom hit this one right on the head.

Mom Said: You can do whatever you want in your life
Was Mom Right?: Yes!
Len’s Analysis: I think many moms and dads say this to their children.  It is empowering and makes everyone feel good.  My mom used to say this to me.  I was going to be an Astronaut.  Oh well…  But she was right on this one.  I think that many parents rethink these very words as their children grow up and make their own decisions.  Especially when these decisions don’t seem to mesh with the way that parents think they should.  Me and mom…  We went through some bumpy times as I was finding myself.  But in the end, she was right.  We are all human and subject to emotions.  Mom always wants the best for her child. And my mom always wanted that for me.

Mom Said: I want to be as special to your children as you were to your Mom-Mom
Was Mom Right?: Yes!
Len’s Analysis: Well, she may have got the “ren” wrong in children, but other than that, she was right.  Known as Mom-Mom to Arianna, she is truly special to my daughter.  Arianna gets so excited when she gets to visit her Mom-Mom.  I remember how special and exciting it was for me to visit my Mom-Mom.

Mom Said: One day when you’re grown-up, you won’t waste all of that meat!
Was Mom Right?: No!
Len’s Analysis: I do not like fat on meat.  In fact, ever since I was a small kid, I cut off every tiny piece of fat on meat.  By the time I was done, only half of the meat was left.  I could not swallow any fatty piece of meat, no matter how small.  T-Bone steaks, pork chops, prime rib…  I would eat 50% of it and toss the rest.  Well guess what?  I do the same thing and I pay for it.  I cannot swallow fat of any kind.  Fortunately, I have learned in time that the only type of beef I can eat is Filet Mignon or a very lean london broil.  I can have lean ground round or chipsteak, but you can forget about most steaks and chops.  These days, I eat lots of turkey, chicken and veal, because I want to eat healthier.  But once in a while when I go out and desire beef, I will only eat Filet Mignon.

Mom Said: One day when you’re grown-up, you won’t have the air conditioner or heat on as high
Was Mom Right?: No!
Len’s Analysis: I live to be comfortable.  There is no double-standard now that I am older and pay for it.  In the summer, I love air conditioning.  In the winter, I love heat (within reason).  My wife and I are used to about a 72 degree temperature in the house.  When I go to Mom’s house, I am either freezing (in the cold months) or sweating (in the hot months).  I have learned that the best use of my money is on food and temperature comfort.

I could probably think of many more things, but these things are some of the things that stick out most in my mind.  In the end, mom did the best that she could and always had me in her heart… Even if she was wrong about a few things.  God knows, I am no Saint, that’s for sure.  But in the end, she loves me, and that’s all that ever mattered.

Ciao.

I’ve got things that plug in, like computers, stereos, TVs,  and other electronic gizmos that would make the typical man smile.  I’ve got manly things like a tractor, a chainsaw and that old collection of Playboy magazines.  I’ve got all kinds of things that I’ve saved over the years (in the attic of course). The attic is just a place to store more things.

I’ve got things like cars and houses and quads (and the “things” that go along them, some call them bills, I call them shit).  And then there’s furniture.  Got lots of those things too.  I’ve got the formal dining room thing that I rarely use.  I’ve got a ball chair thing that cost me a lot of money which now sits unused in my hallway.  And an old couch that is in the basement because we had to make room for 2 new things to replace it.

Man, all of these things cost a ton of money to get.  And now that I have them, I really don’t feel like having them anymore.  Well, most of them, I love the real estate things.  Having all of these things just makes it harder to buy more things.  First of all, where do you put the new things?  Next to the old things which becomes more things.  Then that gets old, and your new things become old things.  So what’s the point?

Imagine what it would be like to not have things.  Well, some things, but not all of the things that we typically buy.  We work to acquire things so that we can have them.  And I guess that’s fine and dandy.  I mean, I do need some things.  And I like nice things.  But this is ridiculous.  I guess all of my things aren’t things at all.  It’s all just a bunch of shit.

Maybe I’ll stop buying so much shit and instead travel the world.  Seriously.

It’s all true folks.  We figured it’s a great time to build a new house in Las Vegas.  It’s a great time to buy, and since one day we are going to move there, we might as well secure 2009 prices.  We surely go to Vegas a lot though.  Last year, I think we were there for more than 30 days total.  This year I estimate that it will be about the same, maybe a little more.  At least we will use it.

Anyway…  The house has 3-stories plus a rooftop deck looking out at the mountains.  It will be done at the end of October!  We are really excited…  Maybe a little bit nervous, but excited.

The house is located in Mountain’s Edge, about 10 miles from the Strip.  We got everything that we ever wanted in this baby.  It will have a beautiful kitchen with all granite counters and back splashes, stainless steel appliances, extra tall cabinets with crown molding.  My favorite part is the rooftop deck.  Our lot borders US Government land, so our view of the mountains will never be obstructed.

I’ve lost track of how many times Jen and I have seen Poison in concert.  But last night was a first – we took Arianna to see Poison and Def Leppard.  So Jen and I decided to have a little extra fin with it.  I put on a red bandana (I’ve never worn a bandana around my head) and wore my earring (I still dig it out every now and then).  Jen…  Well, she’s Jen.  She put in green hair clip-ons, but this is something we would expect from her anytime anyway…  And Arianna wore her tie-dye shirt and a bandana.  Transformation Rockstar complete.

We arrived early to tailgate.  I brought a little charcoal grill, some burgers, corn on the cob, sausage and hot dogs.  I loaded the car with folding chairs and a table.  And against my better judgement, I brought along some Corona Light and fresh limes (At least it was ‘light’ beer).  We ate, listened to music out of the back of the car, then went to the concert.

We had a great night.  Arianna has been asking for years to go and see Poison.  She was looking forward to hearing “Ride the Wind” and seeing “C.C.” play.

In the traditional style, on the way home, we were listening to music that was opposite of the concert we just saw.  I had the new Black Eyed Peas album on, but I kept the volume low since my ears were ringing from the concert.  After the last concert we saw (Air Supply), I had Disturbed playing for the car ride home.  Go figure.