I’ve got things that plug in, like computers, stereos, TVs,  and other electronic gizmos that would make the typical man smile.  I’ve got manly things like a tractor, a chainsaw and that old collection of Playboy magazines.  I’ve got all kinds of things that I’ve saved over the years (in the attic of course). The attic is just a place to store more things.

I’ve got things like cars and houses and quads (and the “things” that go along them, some call them bills, I call them shit).  And then there’s furniture.  Got lots of those things too.  I’ve got the formal dining room thing that I rarely use.  I’ve got a ball chair thing that cost me a lot of money which now sits unused in my hallway.  And an old couch that is in the basement because we had to make room for 2 new things to replace it.

Man, all of these things cost a ton of money to get.  And now that I have them, I really don’t feel like having them anymore.  Well, most of them, I love the real estate things.  Having all of these things just makes it harder to buy more things.  First of all, where do you put the new things?  Next to the old things which becomes more things.  Then that gets old, and your new things become old things.  So what’s the point?

Imagine what it would be like to not have things.  Well, some things, but not all of the things that we typically buy.  We work to acquire things so that we can have them.  And I guess that’s fine and dandy.  I mean, I do need some things.  And I like nice things.  But this is ridiculous.  I guess all of my things aren’t things at all.  It’s all just a bunch of shit.

Maybe I’ll stop buying so much shit and instead travel the world.  Seriously.

Last week, I went to Longhorn to have a burger… Guess what? It came in a basket.

Today I went to Panera Bread and I was no so surprisingly served in a basket-like tray.  Now to be fair to Panera Bread, their basket is partly a tray, but it is mostly a basket!

But grab a bite to eat at Red Robin and you are going to get yourself the most basket-like basket you ever had. A freakin’ basket.

All of these baskets have wax paper which makes it all that more annoying to eat from.  I feel like a second-class citizen whenever I eat from these things.  Like I’m not worth a plate or something.

“Hey Joe, just throw that food in a basket.  It’s just Len, he doesn’t need a plate.“

It used to be that only fried clamstrips or chicken came in a basket.  Now everything winds up in a basket.  Why?  It all comes down to lazy people and lazy companies that don’t want to buy real plates, nor do they want to clean them.

So to be really clear, here is a Perroots.com list of approved food basket use:

• Fried clams
• Fried chicken
• Fruit baskets
• Easter baskets
• Gift basket (cheese, pepperoni, crackers, etc…)

There’s a little joke that I have about myself and I’ll share it with you.  When taking to my wife, I jokingly call myself “50 Percent“.  I say this because I do (or attempt to do) many things in my life and for one reason or another, I don’t complete them.  For example, I love to read, but I usually only finish about half (ummm… or about 50%) of any book that I read.  I put mulch around the trees in my front yard… Well… I did about 50% of them.

Instead of referring to these things as only 50% complete, I prefer to think of them as a “work in progress.“  Sure, it may seem unfinished and abandoned… It’s just that I’m taking a really, really long time to get some of this done.  And who knows, things constantly change, so while I may stop doing one thing to start another, life is all about changing your course as necessary, isn’t it?

Think of it this way. I’m 50% further than many people because many of them don’t do anything, so I suppose 50% isn’t that bad.  And guess what?  Some of those 50 percents wind up being 100 percents which means accomplishment.  I guess you need to have lots of 50 percents because that’s the only way you can ever have a 100 percent.  At least I do…

“Just do it and then talk about it…”

Dennis: So what did you do this weekend?

Len: We went to the movies, then chilled out for the rest of the day.

Dennis: There you go!

There I go?  What in the hell does that mean?  If you start to pay attention to your conversations, you may see that many people use this phrase all of the time.  I did.  I notice that I say it.  And so does Jen.  And so does almost everybody I work with.  Now that I’m aware of it, it’s quite humorous actually.  So, now when Dennis involuntarily responds to me by saying “There you go“, I counter-respond and say, “No, there YOU go!“.  It’s quite funny.  He now catches me on it and does the same to me.

I know what you’re thinking. This makes no sense. Let me clarify. I don’t believe in the Boogey Man or Freddy Kreuger or Michael Myers. These are not the kind of monsters that I believe in. Before I can explain to you what I mean, I need to give you a little background.

My family (my mom, aunts, uncles, etc…) has a long history of having dinners and parties on Sunday nights. Now for my family, dinner doesn’t start until at least 7 or 8pm on a Sunday. And dinner isn’t over within an hour. Usually Sunday dinner “starts” at 3 or 4 pm. You know, some appetizers, some wine, etc… Before you know it, it’s 10pm and I have an hour drive home. I don’t live 5 minutes away.  So a Sunday night dinner or party means that I will be home by 10:30pm at the very minimum.  It’s usually more like 11pm.

It has become no secret that when I am in New Jersey visiting relatives, I want to leave by 6pm or so at the latest. Ideally, I want to be in my house no later than 6pm.  Even better than that, I don’t want to travel on Sundays period.  I want to be in my neck of the woods.  So what does this have to do with monsters?

It’s actually pretty funny. As 6pm would approach on Sunday nights while we were at their house, Frank would say to mom – “Better hurry up and get dinner on the table, the monsters are coming out soon!” Basically, this became a joke that we all laugh about. You see, if I don’t get in the car by 6pm and start driving home, the monsters may get me, so I better leave on time! Probably doesn’t seem that funny, but in context it really is!

Let’s face it.  Most people want to be home on Sunday afternoon and evening with their family.  I know that when I have people over on a Sunday, I can see them itch to leave the house as the day goes on.  I have proclaimed Sunday the “Day of Rest“.  Sure, you’re welcome to come over my house on Sunday, but if I have to work the next day, you can bet your ass that I’ll be escorting you to the door before 6pm!

Anyway, one of the girls next to Arianna was on one of the PCs and all of a sudden…

But this isn’t the first time I have seen this in public.  In fact, I’ve started to take pictures of the infamous blue screen of death and other Windows mishaps whenever I see it in public.  Just a few months ago, when we were at the Liberty Science Center, many of the PCs for the various attractions using Windows were broken:

I’m not going to go into all of the reasons why everyone should abandon their Windows PC and switch to a Mac.  The frustration that most people feel with Windows machines should be reason enough to consider a Mac.  I use a Windows PC at work on a daily basis, and have for over 10 years, and I can tell you – I have the same (and more) problems that I have had a decade ago.  And it gets worse every year.  Applications freeze the entire PC, programs become unresponsive, which screws up any other programs running, etc…  

I even have Windows on my Mac which I run from time to time (Jen uses it everyday for work), but even on a Mac – Windows is Windows.  The most familiar key combinations are still CTRL-ALT-DEL, and I see the blue CHKDISK quite often.  As a former Windows programmer, I have gladly switched over 6 years ago.  Maybe you should too!

1. So do you like to gamble?  No. I hate it. I go to Las Vegas so I can go to church.
2. I know the weather is hot, but it’s a dry heat.  OK, listen up buddy! 105 degrees is HOT. It sucks the life right out of you. Although it is not humid, you cannot stay outside for long without consuming water and seeking shade. People who say this have obviously not ever been to the desert. 

   

   (click on the image)

3. Did just the two of you go to Las Vegas (meaning just Jen and I)?  Yep. About 2 or 3 times a year, we lock Arianna in the basement with a weeks worth of food and water so we can escape to Vegas.
4. You have timeshare, right?  I get this response when I tell people that we own a condo in Vegas. We are not playing the $50,000 Pyramid here! I did not say, “Types of vacation ownership one might own at popular tourist attractions thoughout the country.”

The above statements I get all of the time and it’s quite funny. The truth is that people seem to be amazed that our daughter comes with us on every Vegas trip (so far). Honestly, I don’t seem to know what the big deal is. We’ve taken Arianna almost everyplace we’ve ever been. It’s how we live. (Errrr.. RockStarFamily…)

In The Office:

1. I hate people when they must reply and carbon-copy the entire freaking company on a simple email that I send directly to them. It’s rude and it makes them look like an idiot. There is a time to bring others into an email trail and a time to simply press the Reply button.
2. I hate people who pay more attention to what I do, when they have no reason to care. They should mind their own business.
3. I hate people who will stab you in the back the first chance that they get so that they can pass their failures onto you.
4. I hate people who need to be held by the hand like a little baby and will go no further than their designated “job role.” This erks me to no end.
5. I hate people who won’t take lunch because of their so-called dedication to the company. These are the same people who roll in 15 minutes late everyday and complain if you leave 5 minutes early.

Other People I Hate:

1. I hate contractors who don’t want my business. Whenever I call a contractor to bid on business, most don’t even call back. The few that do never follow up with an estimate or a phone call. They don’t want my money. I don’t understand them. I have money to give them and they won’t take it.
2. I hate nosey neighbors who try to disrupt the peace and tranquility of life by budding into things that do not pertain to them. (For my neighbors reading this – I’m not talking about you. It’s the other ones we all have to watch! But if you’re lucky, I will hate you too!)
3. I hate people who judge others based on tangible items. If you have money or if you don’t… Either way they look down on you.
4. I hate people who hate. People who really hate people. Now don’t get me wrong, I hate people as much as the next guy. Actually, I hate things that people do sometimes. I don’t really hate people.
5. I hate people who are all grown up and still live at home with their mommies.

If you can read between the lines, perhaps you can see that I’ve made my best attempt to blend humor and seriousness into this blog. So don’t be offended. This is just a little rant… A few events have happened in the past day or two that sparked this. It’s my blog afterall!