Perroots.com

Things

I have things.  Lots of things.  Too many things.  I’ve got things that I’ve always wanted.  Things that take up a lot of space.  Things that are heavy to move.  Things that I have just because I can’t get rid of them.  Some people call these things shit.  I simply call them things.

I’ve got things that plug in, like computers, stereos, TVs,  and other electronic gizmos that would make the typical man smile.  I’ve got manly things like a tractor, a chainsaw and that old collection of Playboy magazines.  I’ve got all kinds of things that I’ve saved over the years (in the attic of course). The attic is just a place to store more things.

I’ve got things like cars and houses and quads (and the “things” that go along them, some call them bills, I call them shit).  And then there’s furniture.  Got lots of those things too.  I’ve got the formal dining room thing that I rarely use.  I’ve got a ball chair thing that cost me a lot of money which now sits unused in my hallway.  And an old couch that is in the basement because we had to make room for 2 new things to replace it.

Man, all of these things cost a ton of money to get.  And now that I have them, I really don’t feel like having them anymore.  Well, most of them, I love the real estate things.  Having all of these things just makes it harder to buy more things.  First of all, where do you put the new things?  Next to the old things which becomes more things.  Then that gets old, and your new things become old things.  So what’s the point?

Imagine what it would be like to not have things.  Well, some things, but not all of the things that we typically buy.  We work to acquire things so that we can have them.  And I guess that’s fine and dandy.  I mean, I do need some things.  And I like nice things.  But this is ridiculous.  I guess all of my things aren’t things at all.  It’s all just a bunch of shit.

Maybe I’ll stop buying so much shit and instead travel the world.  Seriously.

Do not feed me food in baskets

I don’t get the obsession with food places these days. Everyone wants to feed me food in a basket. I went to Mo’s Southwest Grill yesterday, they gave me my burrito in a basket.

Last week, I went to Longhorn to have a burger… Guess what? It came in a basket.

Today I went to Panera Bread and I was no so surprisingly served in a basket-like tray.  Now to be fair to Panera Bread, their basket is partly a tray, but it is mostly a basket!

But grab a bite to eat at Red Robin and you are going to get yourself the most basket-like basket you ever had. A freakin’ basket.

All of these baskets have wax paper which makes it all that more annoying to eat from.  I feel like a second-class citizen whenever I eat from these things.  Like I’m not worth a plate or something.

“Hey Joe, just throw that food in a basket.  It’s just Len, he doesn’t need a plate.“

It used to be that only fried clamstrips or chicken came in a basket.  Now everything winds up in a basket.  Why?  It all comes down to lazy people and lazy companies that don’t want to buy real plates, nor do they want to clean them.

So to be really clear, here is a Perroots.com list of approved food basket use:

• Fried clams
• Fried chicken
• Fruit baskets
• Easter baskets
• Gift basket (cheese, pepperoni, crackers, etc…)

50 Percent

There’s a little joke that I have about myself and I’ll share it with you.  When taking to my wife, I jokingly call myself “50 Percent“.  I say this because I do (or attempt to do) many things in my life and for one reason or another, I don’t complete them.  For example, I love to read, but I usually only finish about half (ummm… or about 50%) of any book that I read.  I put mulch around the trees in my front yard… Well… I did about 50% of them.

Instead of referring to these things as only 50% complete, I prefer to think of them as a “work in progress.“  Sure, it may seem unfinished and abandoned… It’s just that I’m taking a really, really long time to get some of this done.  And who knows, things constantly change, so while I may stop doing one thing to start another, life is all about changing your course as necessary, isn’t it?

Think of it this way. I’m 50% further than many people because many of them don’t do anything, so I suppose 50% isn’t that bad.  And guess what?  Some of those 50 percents wind up being 100 percents which means accomplishment.  I guess you need to have lots of 50 percents because that’s the only way you can ever have a 100 percent.  At least I do…

“Just do it and then talk about it…”

Milk

This is July in MY house

This is my wife wearing her feet pajamas (yes those are little yellow duckies) in July. Need I say more?