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A Daddy Day

It has been a bit of a tradition for Arianna and Lenny to spend some time together periodically. Just the two of them. It is something she looks forward to and we have appropriately termed it “A Daddy Day.”

Well, I recently had A Daddy Day of my own. My father and I went out to dinner and then went to See Andre Bocelli perform at the Meadowlands. Dinner was great – although we could have fed the entire town with all of the food on our table for two! The concert was – well let’s just say I had chills from head to toe. Andre’s sweet smile made me smile from ear to ear. The performance was brilliant and my company was even better!

Thank you so much, Dad. I guess you’re never too old for a Daddy Day!!!!

Sticks and Stones

… but names will never hurt me. Unless you call me a mom that doesn’t spend enough time with my daughter. I have stayed at home with her for virtually her entire life. I have tried to plan everything around her happiness. I go bike riding with her, throw princess parties, go to the pool, take her to the library, go for evening walks, cooked the turkey for her class this year and served it, make crafts, sit on the floor and play games, read to her, warm lotion in the microwave so it’s not too cold when I rub it on her dry skin. I play her favorite songs repeatedly on car rides, drive her to school and pick her up sometimes so we can spend more time together, I take her to feed the ducks, wake up early so I can get my work done sooner or save work for after she goes to sleep so I don’t have to do much when she’s awake. Up until yesterday, I felt like I had a pretty good balance and spent ample time with Arianna. So what idiot would tell me that I don’t spend enough time with her?

Arianna, of course! Yes, my sweet, darling, daughter told me I don’t spend ANY time with because I’m ALWAYS working. Let’s think about that a moment, shall we? That comment was retracted and brushed off as a joke – Lenny coaxed her along on that one. I tried to blink away and dry the tears, that despite all my strength, formed in my PMSing eyes.

I would like to take this moment to publicly apologize to my parents for any mean and thoughtless remarks that I may have made when I was growing up. For any remark that made them question their skills as a parent or even question themselves down to the core of who they are as people.

That being said, could someone please help me remove the dagger from my heart?

In Search of. . .

Mr. Brown. Searching for Mr. Brown. Calling Mr. Brown. Are you out there? Have any of you seen him? I can’t tell you what he looks like or exactly where he lives, but I feel like I know him very well. I mean, we have shared intimate, personal details , such as OUR Phone number! I know where his children go to school, that one of them struggles in math, that he is behind on such bills as his mortgage payment, car payment, credit car bills, etc . . .

Have you every tried calling a school district that you are not a part of in a hopeless attempt to get off of their automated call list? I find this to be the most entertaining result of having this man’s former phone number. Oh, yes, we get the dinner time calls about the absence of his child from school, the notification of open house night and my favorite is the 5:00 am school closing announcement. I just loved that one! I can also tell you that despite various delinquencies, this man must be a genius and we should all learn from him. Did you know that by changing your phone number no one can find you and you don’t have to pay for anything? We OBVIOUSLY are the stupid ones. I say, let us all strive to be just like Mr. Brown! Come one, come all. Let’s change our numbers and live for free! Kudos to you Mr. Brown.

. . . . Oh and if you do bump into Mr. Brown please write this poor man a check to help him out and let him know his son needs math support and he just has to sign the permission slip.

Happy 35th!!!

I tried to make this birthday special for my hubby this year. I figured what better way to celebrate life than with a bottle of Masi instead of the traditional birthday cake. I want to say thanks to our great group of friends for helping me out with the food and as always providing lots of laughter. Aside from almost burning the house down, everything went smoothly. I keep thinking of us all dropping to the floor when Drew came by on the quad! I must say the Dick and Jane conversation was pretty funny too! Thoughts of yesterday are keeping me smiling today. Thanks to all!!!

Angels

Wow, I can’t believe it’s been 6 years since my perception of life was changed forever. Today is the anniversary of losing a child, yet keeping my life. Each year I spend this day reflecting and at the same time making sure I show I great big smile to my little girl while she is happily trick or treating and I am blessed enough to be here to see it. I have a hard time finding the words…

I am one for tradition though. On the first anniversary of our loss, I bought myself an Angel necklace that I have worn every year since. I also wear it on days when I want my angel to know that he is thought of and never forgotten. Each year I also send the doctor that saved my life (who incidentally was the same one that delivered Arianna) a gift basket so he knows how grateful I am.

I also have a list of songs that capture all of the emotions that I can’t put in to words. If you ever need a song of remembrance and feel like crying I like these:

I Guess it Never Hurts to Hurt Sometimes – by The Oak Ridge Boys (my Mom introduced me to that great song)
I’ll Be There – by Escape Club
Friends – by Michael W. Smith
My Name – by George Canyon

In loving memory of our unborn Angels.

Happy Halloween Everyone!!!

Persistence

Imagine the surprised look on Maryann’s face this morning when I told her we got a new kitten this weekend. Particularly funny was the long pause by Holly after I told her about it followed by, “Oh my God! Lenny is going to kill you!” She says this as if I somehow smuggled the cat in here without him noticing over the weekend. Yes, Lenny has quite the hard reputation sometimes but I am here to ruin that image yet again.
(If you missed the last one you can refer back to an earlier blog by clicking: Ruining Lenny’s Image

I always try to bring animals into our home but that request is usually followed by a non-wavering, “NO!” Here’s the truth he doesn’t want you to know. Every animal that has ever been brought into our home has been by him. Sure, I may have to be persistent, even might have to beg for upwards of 5 years, but our little Fettachini or Fettucini is here and she was worth the wait. Either way you spell it, she’s a cute little noodle and yes – we did actually name her after a type of pasta.

Thanks Honey!!!

Funny Questions

There is no doubt that my daughter has provided me with some very funny little moments in life. . .Yesterday we were driving in the car and she says, “Hey, Mom, if the Earth is a big ball and we’re on top, are the people on the bottom of the Earth used to walking upside down?”I haven’t smiled and laughed so hard since she put hickies on her face.  :)

Do I confuse you?

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who told me something that had probably been on her mind for quite some time. She told me that I confuse her and she doesn’t know how to take me. Hmmm…. Can you believe that? She says that sometimes I can come across as a very strong, confident person and other times I seem so soft and delicate. Let me try to solve this mystery for you. I am strong and I am weak. I am hard and I am soft. I am sturdy and I am delicate. I am confident and I am insecure. Some might compare it to the yin and yang – and others may just call it schizophrenic or bipolar!!! Either way, that’s me and I’m sorry if that makes me difficult to understand. If you think you have a hard time understanding me, imagine being married to me, or even worse yet, living in my head. Hope that helped.

HELP

I used to be the kind of person that would arrive 15 minutes early to every event. There was also a time when I wouldn’t accept help from anybody for anything. There was a time when I vacuumed my house every single day – sometimes twice a day! I had everything under perfect control. If you asked to bring something to a party I would say no. If you asked if I needed help with Arianna, I would say no. no, No, NO!!! These days I realize that there is no shame in saying yes. I can accept that I have lots of different things to accomplish in a day and I don’t always have things under control. I might forget about a scheduled play date, be behind on my work, have an un-vacuumed house and piles of laundry and sadly arrive at least 15 minutes late to everything. In my attempt to be perfect, I fail often and right now, I’m actually ok with that. The bottom line is don’t offer help if you don’t want me to say yes – cause I actually just might take you up on the offer!!!

Thanks to all in advance!!!!

Jen’s Got Talent

The other night Lenny had gone out with a few friends and Arianna and I were home watching America’s Got Talent. She asked me if she had a talent and I told her she would figure that out as she got older and had time to try different things. I then proceeded to inform that I don’t have a talent and never did. I wasn’t being critical of myself or anything like that it was just a matter-of-fact kind of statement. My sweet girl looked at me and said, “Well I know what your talent is Mommy. It’s being my Mom” What more could I ask for than that? If that’s my talent than my existence is justified! Let’s see if she still thinks this way when she’s 16.